Empathy at Work: Moving Beyond the Feedback Sandwich
Let’s start with an unexpected comparison: sandwiches. In the U.S., they go by many names – grinders in New England, hoagies in Philadelphia, subs in lots of other places. In the corporate setting, however, they often take the form of feedback – a concept as nuanced as the many names for sandwiches.
The “feedback sandwich” is a widely known yet debated structure for delivering constructive feedback, especially if managers lack the proper training. The feedback sandwich consists of three layers:
The Bun: Areas in which an employee excels.
The Meat: Areas that an employee needs to work on.
The Bun: Ending employee feedback on a positive note by including a final compliment.
Even though it’s popular, this framework has significant flaws. For one, it often doesn’t feel genuine. When feedback is delivered without authenticity, this sandwich becomes hard to swallow. While the structure may seem useful, it usually limits meaningful dialogue and relationship-building. Its impact depends on genuine delivery and the ability to create an authentic connection. This structure will often bypass opportunities to strengthen interpersonal relationships, understand feelings, or consider alternative perspectives. Finally, due to negativity bias - a cognitive tendency to prioritize negative information - the recipient tends to fixate on the critique rather than the solutions.
The Role of Empathy at Work
We recommend an empathetic approach not just to feedback, but to leadership in general. Empathy is about understanding the feelings, thoughts, experiences, and perspectives of others without necessarily having lived the same experiences. It goes beyond imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes to consider what it’s like to be that person in their unique circumstances. Leaders who actively practice empathy foster a supportive workplace culture that improves engagement, trust, and morale. Empathy encourages leaders to listen to different perspectives, which enhances innovation and creativity. Yet during challenging conversations, such as performance reviews, empathy can easily be overlooked in the heat of the moment.
Consider this example: Deepak, a supervisor, calls Gloria, a direct report, for a one-on-one conversation about a new workstream Gloria had been asking about. Already rushed and preoccupied, Deepak dives into the conversation without small talk. He notes a few things Gloria is doing well but quickly expresses concerns about her readiness to take on a more challenging workstream. When Gloria asserts that she is ready, Deepak compromises, and suggests that she start in an observational role instead. Gloria leaves the meeting feeling dejected and less confident.
How could Deepak have applied empathy in this feedback session?
There were plenty of opportunities! Let’s do a play-by-play:
Be Present in the Conversation: Deepak’s hurried approach signaled that he wasn’t fully present. Being present means setting aside distractions and focusing solely on the person in front of you. This builds trust and fosters a thoughtful discussion about immediate needs and long-term goals.
Actively Listen and Inquire: Active listeners focus on understanding rather than preparing their next response. They pay attention to unspoken cues, ask clarifying questions, and demonstrate engaged body language (e.g., eye contact, head nodding, leaning in). A great reflective listening structure to add is to say, “I want to make sure I’m understanding you correctly … you mentioned you’re feeling this way due to these issues, is that correct?” By staying curious, inclusive leaders are able to better understand new perspectives and experiences. In fact, research from Columbia University has long demonstrated that perspective-taking exercises significantly enhance empathy and reduce biases, which could have helped Deepak in this situation.
Use Mind and Heart: While discussing emotions at work may feel awkward or unproductive, emotionally intelligent leaders recognize the importance of acknowledging and validating feelings. Instead of simply asking, “How are you doing?” pose open-ended questions that will provide additional context but still respect boundaries. For example:
Can you tell me how recent changes have impacted you and your workstream?
What about your workstream would you like to do more/less of
Advanced level: If you’re in a self-reflective mood, showcase vulnerability and ask: “What has it been like to work with me?” Approach the answer with curiosity and notice where you feel judged.
The Evidence for Empathy
Empathy is more than just a buzzword for desirable leadership skills. Substantial evidence underscores its impact:
Organizational Performance: A 2023 EY Empathy in Business Survey found that 88% of U.S. workers believe mutual empathy between company leaders and employees leads to increased efficiency. Accenture also found that companies with a strong emphasis on empathy in leadership had 50% higher total shareholder returns over the course of three years compared to their peers.
Retention: The same EY survey revealed that 78% of employees believe empathetic leadership reduces employee turnover.
Employee Well-Being: A Harvard Business Review study found that employees who work for leaders who show empathy experience lower levels of stress and burnout. Specifically, employees who feel supported by their leaders report 46% lower levels of burnout.
Leadership Development: Research in a 2023 Harvard Business Publishing article Empathetic Leadership: How to Go Beyond Lip Service indicates that while 78% of senior leaders recognize empathy’s importance, only 47% say their organizations practice it effectively—highlighting a critical gap in leadership development.
Empathy in Action
As Maya Angelou eloquently said, “I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” So, as we step into the New Year, let’s commit to showing up for our people and our teams with courage and compassion.
Empathy nurtures growth on every level: organizational, team, and individual. It’s a skill that promotes compassion, collaboration, and kindness, especially during adversity. However, it’s not passive—it’s a verb! Inclusive leaders who exemplify empathy practice it consistently, honing it like a muscle.
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